“On This Day 9 Years Ago…”
July 1, 2009
Phil and Joni Matthews
It was on this day a short while ago that my best friend and I took a vow. It was a simple marriage with a few friends and family. Not a whole lot of effort went into planning and arrangements because the logistics of the wedding really weren’t important to us.
The important thing was us taking a vow to be with each other forever. I was about to marry my high school sweet-heart and I couldn’t wait. We stood there nervously and confessed our love for each other.
The Pastor asked Joni if she would take me in marriage and she said yes. Then the pastor asked me if I would take Joni in marriage and I… I REACHED INTO MY POCKET, GRABBED A COIN, AND FLIPPED IT INTO THE AIR! I CAUGHT IT IN MID-AIR (thank god) LOOKED DOWN AT THE COIN AND I RESPONDED “YES.” Crazy I know, and If you don’t believe me, I have the video to prove it.
I have never toldl anyone if it was heads or tails and to this day I’m not sure what I was attempting to do. The church was in an uproar of laughter though so I guess that’s the reaction I was looking for. Besides any chance I get to be DIFFERENT and to not CONFORM I’ll take. I don’t want to be boring! Joni was a little embarrassed but she took it well. 
It all started a few years earlier. I was a senior and she was a freshman. My brother and friends often referred to me as the “Cradle Robber!” It really didn’t matter what they called me because I had a hunch this girl was the one for me.
“Our First Date”
It was a memorable first date that I’ll never forget and not for reasons many might assume. We hung out and watched TV! What made it memorable was we only could get one channel to come in on the little 13” TV with a Rabbit Ears antenna made of tin foil and it just so happen to be the new episode of Star Trek where the two females made-out with each other. I remember the buzz the next day with that episode and even the news channels were talking about it. “Did you see Star Trek last night?” It was funny and Joni and I won’t ever forget that.
“Life as we know it today!”
Today we are blessed with 4 beautiful girls. (Yes I’m Out-Numbered) During our marriage there have been ups and downs. The ups and downs have always been about money, jobs, and that sort of thing and never about our love for each other. We are in love and have taken a vow. So being mad at each other or being indifferent just does not happen. We are better then that and we talk it through because we figured out that it works to do that.
I want to tell you about the woman of my dreams. As I mentioned we have 4 girls. My wife has raised them by herself for the most part. I had a JOB that required travel and was gone a lot. I have never had summer with them because I was always working to provide. My wife just handled it all and rarely ever complained. Through it all she has been the foundation, The ROCK, in our little family.
“Joni Goes NUTS”
People thought she was nuts at times too. There have been numerous times Joni packed up the kids and the car and drove clear across the United States to see me for a few days. I can recall 2 different times she did it with NO air conditioning!
The story is funny. She stopped and bought a couple of squirt bottles that had a battery operated fans and when you turned them on and squirted the bottles you could mist yourself. Portable A/C! I’m not sure how well they worked but they got her and the girls down the road.
None-the-less discomfort never stopped her. There were also times she would leave the kids with her mom and fly out for a day or two and fly home. It was never more than a couple days because she couldn’t be away from her babies that long. What an amazing mother she is.
She was almost stranded in Chicago once due to a heavy snow storm sweeping the nation. That kinda freaked her out a little but she prevailed. My wife has on a number of times Unselfishly worked hard to make her little family happy no matter where in the world we were.
Time and Distance..
As some of you may know that our relationship has stood the test of time and distance. The first 3 years were spent with me in the Army. That experience has shaped my life. I was an Army Ranger the guys who move by land, sea, or air. The group in the Movie “BlackHawk Down” in fact Sgt. Struker in the Movie was my RIP Instructor.
What a Grand Experience to have. There were many times we would leave on ZERO notice and I could find myself calling home 3 weeks later from a different country. Luckily for me Joni was always home anticipating me to call.
She’s a tough girl. Heck one time she borrowed the car with out her parent’s permission to check the mailbox because she was expecting a letter. It would not have been a big deal other then she got caught! Some loose gravel caused her to run off the road and roll the car on its top! As you can imagine she got into a little trouble. In the end thought I bet she says it was all worth it.
Our Ranger barracks were recently remodeled and for the first time we were allowed to have telephones. Of course they could be shut off with one flick of a switch in times of lock down or mission preparation but I was the first one in my platoon to have a phone. I was everyone’s friend.
“My 1 Unselfish ACT”
These were the days before cell phones and the days before unlimited long distance. I didn’t go out and party with the gang. NO.. I was back at the barracks on the phone. I spent all my money on phone bills and letters home to Joni. In fact the reason I share all this is to confess my unselfish love.
You see I have always been a “Muscle Car Freak!” My senior year my physics teacher and I built a 383 “stroker” motor for my 1968 Chevelle. I loved that car. My brother and his friends had a nickname for the car. They called it “Martin.” It’s a 1968 Chevelle a true piece of American Muscle. The only thing is it was ugly. The guys named it “Martin” after a scrawny kid in school who had no muscles. It didn’t have muscle in their eyes. So the name Martin stuck and In fact I still own it today. It was my first car and it was very fast, just ask the local cops!!!
In the military I would loan Martin out every now and then to the guys in my squad and you would either see the tire tracks it left or hear it pealing out of the parking lot as they left! It was a fun car!
HOWEVER, the month had come that I had racked up a $1200 phone bill! YIKES! I only made $1200 a month and I had other bills to pay too. What was I to do? I did the only logical thing I new I could do. I SOLD the engine out of “Martin” for $1000. I had just built it the year before and had stuck over $1800 in it and now it was time to let it go! The phone was that important to me and connecting Long Distance was a must! I would do it all over again!
Tragedy Strikes…
Life’s been great but there have been some really tough times as well. In August of 2006 Joni’s mom suddenly passed away at age 49. She was the rock that kept Joni together and to say the least was very hard for our family and our girls.
Over the next few months Joni found herself a little lost and looking for answers. I was gone all the time as usual and Joni needed something more. One night at home she asked me if I would go to church with her. Said a friend had invited her. Now if you had known me up to this point you would know what my answer was. “NO.. I’m not going. Sorry” I said.. “I’ll watch the kids for you though.” Well that didn’t go over well and I got the look. Of course she had asked me in front of our friends who went to church so I was out numbered 3 to 1. (I’m Always Out-Numbered) It hadn’t been that long after her moms passing and I felt like if she needed to go then I should at least go for support of her. So I went and the result of that decision has again shaped my life.
The pastor was cool. Did things like pray for the Broncos (they need it) and talked about a positive attitude and giving life your very best! In a nut shell it has introduced me to Jesus and I’m grateful for it and has allowed my wife to make a lot of wonderful friends join a women’s bible study group.
The days of me being gone are over and today we are together. I work from home and attend school so I get to see my family every day. This is the first REAL summer with me home and I love it! I’m not sure where I would be without Joni.
“Thank GOD for Shoes”
The other day I went to take a shower and found a GI-NORMOUS SPIDER in my bathroom. Now, Being a former Army Ranger who has logged many jumps from airplanes and spent many days in the jungles of Panama and has navigated many forests around the country. You think I would be okay with SPIDERS! Heck NO! Who do you think I called though. You guessed it. “JONI” I screamed like a little girl! “SPIDER” What does she say? “Kill it then.” “Huh-Uh, NO WAY, I need YOU too” I yelled back. What a Pansy I know but what I’m trying to express is this. I don’t know what I would do with out my wife.
So on this day I want to salute my wife. I want to let her know that she means the world to me. I want to keep her around for the long haul. I need someone who will stick by me through thick and thin. I need someone to take care of things when I’m not there. I need someone who would travel to the ends of the earth in blistering heat to rescue me. I need someone who can throw a shoe with unbelievable accuracy in the event I run into SPIDERS! I need someone to tell me it’s ok when business is slow and it’s ok when I’m swamped and can’t focus. I need someone to keep me and the family in check and to feed us! I need someone to talk to and be my best friend and to yell at me when I do stupid things! I need someone to take a walk with me and the kids and someone who is not afraid of NOTHING!
BOTTOM LINE – I need as many years with my wife that god will allow!
Thanks baby for a wonderful 9 years today and thanks for everything you do for us. I love you and I look forward to growing very old with you.
Your Hubby,
Philip